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segunda-feira, 2 de junho de 2014

L.A = Lonely Abode


I receive many emails asking how is it like to live in Los Angeles. I try - in most cases - to be quite positive about it. I think I don't have the right to take anyone's dream, but at the same time, I feel obliged to warn them: LA is NOT what you think it is . Well, it's true that there are a lot of cool stuff to do in Los Angeles. It's a beautiful town. It's fun. Full of culture. You can find people from all around the world, it's full of celebrities and things to do. People are beautiful - from the OUTSIDE . But honestly, that's about it.
 
LA is a wonderful city to live if you do NOT care about being stuck in traffic. IF you do NOT care about overpriced things. If it's ok for you to stay in line for a long period of time just to get a burger. IF you speak English very well or at least Spanish. IF you are young . If you do NOT think about getting married or having children anytime soon. IF you want to work in the film, TV or music industry. If you can get used to the fact that people are shallow, cold and overly ambitious. And especially if you are ok with being alone. In Los Angeles you almost have to beg people to go to your wedding party. You don't even feel excited about having a birthday party. You already know that everybody is too "busy " for such an unimportant event. 
Everybody lives VERY far. If you're in Hollywood and your friend lives in Malibu, technically it's like 40 minutes drive, but in LA that's like living in China or something. They won't come to you. You'll have to drive to them. If they come to you, they'll complain about driving at some point and they'll demand that you go to them next time. So if you manage to live like that then yeah ... this the right place for you . I like being independent. I even like to be alone sometimes but that's just too much. I miss love, hugs and real friendship. You know that annoying friend that is always making fun of you but makes you very happy and you can't imagine your life without that person? you will miss that person A LOT. You know that friend who's ALWAYS there for you no matter what and is part of the family ? You're gonna miss that person SO MUCH that will even hurt.


Los Angeles is full of people. It's actually over populated, but nobody looks around. When they look at you, they're looking at your clothes, shoes, apparence, hair, make up... they're judging you. They scan your whole body but won't look in the eye. It's so sad. I try to make eye contact with people but they look away everytime. In LA everybody has a dream. Everybody wants to be something ( be an actor, singer , director , writer , model , etc. ). I think that's awesome but the problem is their big ego. They all think they're going to be big stars and that they don't need you. They think they're better than anyone else. The competition is huge.. for everything dating, job, finding a good apartment, parking.. Living in LA is like the Hunger Games. The city breathes fame , beauty , youth and money . You can find more plastic surgeons than general practitioner . Everyone thinks they're superstars. Some people don't have any money, but drive a very nice new car. It's all about looks and status.
Dating in LA is a tragedy . You can find someone nice, if you're VERY lucky, but not before getting your heart broken a million times . People are always looking for something fishy about someone. You can be very beautiful, they'll still try to find something wrong about you. They'll think that you have a weird nose, an ugly voice... There will always be something wrong with you. They want perfection. They want Barbie and Ken . Man need to be tall , rich and and athletic. Women need to be VERY thin. A skinny person that looks anorexic is what they call it in shape. And the internationally normal person is considered a fat person. This is a city for tall and skinny people and is full of  needy, frustrated and unhappy people.
 
People are addicted to exercise. You feel like that's all they do. You ask someone what do you do for fun? They'll always answer things like "I like to play volleyball, hiking, going to the gym, play football". I'm not against exercizing. I like it very much actually, but I manage to have a life besides going to Yoga and Runyon Canyon. The problem in Los Angeles is that they are addicted to that. Everything for the perfect body. I will not even talk about how picky they are with food. "I don't eat this and I don't eat that". "I'm vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, lactose free". "I only eat protein". "I only eat what I cook". Ergh! Oh... and women don't drink beer and men don't eat sweet. Oh.. and people use a lot of drugs.
 
The film industry in Los Angeles is incredible. I'm very passionate about it. It's aswesome to see celebrities all the time, to go to awards, premiere, bla bla.. but the same industry that makes the city a magical place to live, is the same industry that hurts people. Oh. And be careful, There are fake producer all around LA. It's very common , especially when you're new to LA, to be invited to auditions or some very fancy party with famous people by someone who will stop you on the street and ask for your phone number claiming to be a film or music producer. They always say they work with someone very famous. They're lying MOST OF THE TIME, but it can be true sometimes just be careful. Do NOT give them your phone number or address, ask for their business card then google the guy, ask people. Do something but don't assume he's telling you the truth just because you think you're talent or pretty. Believe me, it can be very dangerous.
There are some funny thing about LA as well. People do what they want and they don't care what you think about them. You can find anything on the streets. People that look like celebrities. People with blue , purple, green, colorful hair. There are people who wear clothes from the 30s , 70s , 90s. And people who wear costumes - LITERALLY. I smile everytime superman is in line in front of me at Starbucks in the morning. Oh, and if you want to take a picture with them, be prepared to pay. That's right , they charge for it. NOTHING is free. Remember that.
And last but not least... parking is a nightmare. You can't stop anywhere you want or at anytime. There are streets where only residents can park, others that neither them can park. There are streets that you can only park at a certain time of the day.Usually at night and some that you can't park at certain time. There are streets where you can park only on Sundays, others never. Keep an eye on all the 40,000 parking signs on the streets . Read ALL the signs before parking your car. Pay attention, ask, google it. Just NEVER assume it's ok to park there because if it's not you WILL get a ticket.I was gonna say that it's better to take the bus, but then I thought about all the crazy people on the buses and changed my mind. If you take the bus, be ready, they WILL talk to you. Some of them are ok, some are very agressive. Just be careful, be gentle and don't do anything about it.  

Oh! Earthquakes are not urban legend. It's very much true. You kind of get used to it after a while , but you do not have time to learn what to do when it happens so learn that as soon as you get in LA. And we can't know for sure when it will happen so you can be in the middle of anything when it hits.. ANYTHING.. and I mean it. hahahaha # truestory
 
Oh , if you have someone . If you're not single, it's actually a much better town.
But believe me, I love LA. I love California, but I just thought that I should talk about the bad side as well. ;)

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